Castellan vs Jackson
by evilpercy
Summary: The title says it all. Luke comes back from the dead and wants Annabeth. unfortunately for him a certain son of poseidon wants to keep her too.they have to fight for it.this story is crazy i'm telling you.but really funny.rated T for language and scenes
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sure as heck I'm not Riordan.**

Percy's POV

I got off my bed and stared at the clock. 8:15 am. I would sleep more but I wanted to go and find Annabeth. We were sleeping secretly together in my cabin last week, that is until Tyson came. I didn't want him going around telling everyone that Annabeth was sleeping in the Poseidon cabin along with me. Tyson was going back today however. Yippee! That meant Annabeth and I could sleep together again. We hadn't been fooling around too much to be honest. I didn't want a certain centaur getting angry with me. I had enough gods for enemies. But I guess being the hero of Olympus does have its perks. I went outside to find Nico walking towards the dining pavilion.

"How's it going", I asked him.

"Fuck you", he replied.

"Well someone's in a good mood", I said.

"Well not everyone sleeps with a girl at night on the sly", Nico said.

I covered my mouth in shock. "How the heck do you know that, Nico di Angelo!"

He chuckled. "I saw her slip into your cabin one night. Don't worry didn't tell a soul. Your secret's safe with me."

I sighed in relief. "You really have to shock me don't you?"

He smirked. "See ya later."

I went to the pavilion and grabbed some breakfast. Many new campers this time. Many new fine looking girls too. Shit! I didn't think that. These days I rarely thought of other girls. I shouldn't be thinking of them too! Suddenly a guy barged into me.

"Watch where you're going", he said deeply.

"Hey its your fault jackass", I replied snatching his plate away.

He had dark hair and pale, gleaming skin. He was a few centimeters taller than me.

"Fuck you bitch", he said sternly.

"Ahh, get lost bastard", I said and punched him in the gut.

"Percy", a shrill girl's voice came from behind.

I turned to see Annabeth. She looked at the pale dude and her eyes widened. She ran away sobbing.

"What's with her?", said the pale dude. "Your chick's weird man."

"Say that again mofo", I said and rammed my knuckles in his chest. He grabbed my shirt and hoisted me up. He glared at me indignantly. "No one messes with… Luke!" he said and washed off his apparently dyed hair. The whole camp gasped.

"Ghost", yelled Clarisse. "We can't even fight him now."

The Ares cabin started running away. I looked at him shocked. "Fuck you, you dare to come back here and show your face!"

I hit him on the back and pinned him to the ground.

"Percy, stop!", Annabeth yelled. "I'll help you."

"Okay darling", I said and patiently waited for her. She came and hit my back with a club.

"What the fuck, Wise Girl", I said holding my back.

"I love Luke now", she declared. "We're through. Screw you loser. Make out with Rachel now. Oh wait you can't she's the Oracle ha ha!"

Luke grabbed Annabeth and started sucking her face.

"Oh Luke, ravish me please", she said with pleasure.

I got a bit turned on but then I realized I wasn't the one sucking her face. I leapt to my feet and and kicked Luke's ass. "Get off my Annabeth you turd."

"Not until I get to have her all the way", he said in a muffled voice on the ground.

"You didn't just say that you perv", I yelled and kicked his stomach. Annabeth took her club and hit me in the chest. "You suck at making out Jackson", she yelled. But then she stared at me again. "Wait I love you more. Fuck you Luke get another girl."

Annabeth stepped forward and leapt into my arms.

I stared at her confused. "But I thought, wha…but you…ahh who cares as long as we get to make out and do more stuff it doesn't matter."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If I say I'm Riordan then sue me.**

Percy's POV

I was making out with Thalia at the edge of the forest. It was a nice break after Annabeth's ludicrousness. She took off her shirt and revealed her lacy bra.

"And I thought you were hunter", I said playing with her hair.

"Part time babe", she replied grinning.

Then she kissed me full on the lips. The pulled back and took a deep breath.

"How was that", she asked smugly. "How did it taste."

"Hmm, well it was good a bit like Annabeth", I replied.

"What!" she said incredulously. "Why does everything have to do with Annabeth for you! I bet you can't even name one thing about me that isn't like your dear Annabeth you prick!"

"Your tits are smaller than Annabeth's", I blurted.

She huffed and stormed off. "Wait Thalia", I called after her. "Don't go. Virginity sucks I assure you." But she was already gone.

Ahh, It doesn't matter besides she's right I can only think of Annabeth. I do like her a lot. I know what you're thinking. Then how come you're cheating on the girl you like right? But cut a guy some slack you know, I've only been thinking of Annabeth since I was thirteen. Your head hurts when you think of only one girl for so long. Anyway I've proved that wrong coz I'm going back to her cabin now. Annabeth was apparently waiting for me coz she told all her siblings to fuck off. She saw me coming and ran towards me.

"Seaweed Brain!" she exclaimed hugging me tight. "I love the way you beat up Luke. I also love the way I beat you up with my club. That was real fun." She giggled.

"Don't do that again please", I said rubbing my chest.

"That depends, I'm the hottest babe in the camp", she said proudly.

"No you're not", I pointed out.

"Yes I am or I'm gonna break up with you", she said pouting.

"No, no please you're the best I swear", I lied. Who is she fooling anyway? The girls in the Aphrodite cabin can even seduce a corpse.

"Good boy", she said giving me a smug smile. "You can take my virginity now."

"Really?" I asked getting all excited.

"No, I was just kidding kiddo", she said.

"I'll try harder next time ma'am, I promise", I said imitating a schoolboy.

She giggled. "Oh Percy, you're so funny. Come here you."

She dragged me to her bed and we started making out. I sucked her lips slowly. Then I massaged her lower lip with my upper lip and then… ahh forget it it's too hard to describe but so much fun to do. Try this at home kids! Hee hee. I put my hand under her shirt and rubbed her back while she ran her hands through my hair. All right this is it. She's tempting me, yes I think she's giving me signs, hmm, yep I think she won't be pissed now if I slide my hands up her…

"Surprise!" a group of kids chorused from the doorway. I jumped out of the bed. A group of blonde kids looking identical to my Annabeth stood in the doorway sniggering.

"Hah, we caught you making out", one guy teased.

"Ha, loser I bet you never made out in your life geek!" I told him.

He quieted down and then started sobbing.

"Why can't you go and make out in Percy's cabin since Tyson isn't there like you used to", one of the girls asked Annabeth.

"Wait a minute", I butted in. "How do you know we make out in my cabin?"

"Nico told us", all of them chorused.

I stormed out of the cabin in rage. "Where are you going", Annabeth shouted after me.

"To kill Nico", I yelled back. "Stay on the bed though. I'm still not done with you. I'll continue when I'm back."

"No I'm off to see Luke", she yelled back.

"No!", I yelled frustrated. "Not Luke please. I'll give you the time of your life I promise…" but she already gone.

I sighed in frustration. This is all because of that bastard Nico. I headed off to the Hades' cabin and stormed my fist on the door. A ghost answered it. "What in Hades' fucking name do you want", he yelled. "I'm a light sleeper you son of a bitch."

"Mind your fucking language you fucked up piece of mist", I yelled back at him. "Where the fuck is Nico!"

"Why don't you practice what you preach, you no-brainer no one likes to see a saint comin out of a brothel!"

"Where is Nico, tell me or I'll tear this house down!"

"He's in the forest screwing around with some girl. Humans! I never understand your…"

I slammed the door on his face and went to the forest. "Nico! Where are you, you crazy son of a bitch! I'm gonna stuff your head down your goddam throat, you hear me?"

Yep he was against a tree making out feverishly with…Katie? I didn't care who it was but her making out time was good as done. Nico was apparently ignoring me. I lifted him up and threw him on the floor. Katie shrieked and tried to find her missing bra. I boxed Nico's ears. "I though I told you not to fuck with me!"

"I didn't", Nico protested painfully. "I'm not gay."

"No smart comments", I said and lifted him up again and slammed him against the tree. Blood trickled down his nose.

"That was our make out tree!" Katie shrieked after putting on her bra.

Suddenly Travis entered the scene.

"What is wrong with you Perce?" travis asked shocked. "Why are you beating up poor Nico."

"Your poor Nico was screwing Katie", I told him.

"He what!" spluttered Travis. "Lets kick the son of a gun's ass!"

We kicked Nico's shins and his chest with our feet. Katie sobbed behind.

"Stop Travis I love Nico!" Katie protested.

"What the fuck!" cried Travis. "He was gonna ditch you for some ghost girl."

"True", said Nico weakly. "Ghost tits can be extended or so I heard."

"I still love him", said Katie firmly.

"That's it Katie you're asking for it", Travis yelled. He caught her shirt and slid his hand underneath. In an instant he unclipped her bra and ran off with it. "You're not getting this back bitch!"

"Travis!" she shrieked chasing after him. "You perverted son of a bitch! I'm gonna cream your ass not in that way of course I mean I'm gonna beat you up turd. I'm gonna make sure you get screwed like never before!"

Nico and I looked at each other and then burst out laughing. "I forgive you man", I said wiping my eyes.

"Yeah that's cool Perce", he said grinning. "Come on lets go and make out with Annabeth for a while huh?"

"Excuse me?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"I mean you make out with her and I'll sulk here in the corner", he said.

"Now you're talking", I said.

"But when you're done with her…" he began.

I flipped him off and went away.

**Hee hee. I kinda liked this chapter. Review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I'm not Riordan. What? You want proof? Idiot.**

Annabeth's POV

Hi! Its me Annabeth and I'm making out with… wait for it… wait for it…LUKE!

I love the guy. He's been my crush since I was seven. What a guy! He's hot all over and hot even when the seasons change. Hee hee. Didn't get it? Forget it. Percy's so dumb he'll forgive me no matter how many times I cheat. But that's why I love my Seaweed Brain. So clueless and obtuse. So here I am sucking on Luke's collarbone.

"Enough!" he said irately. "Can't you do any other things? Didn't Percy teach you any tricks worthwhile? Oh yeah he's Percy he can't screw with a girl if his pathetic existence depended on it."

I frowned at him. "Hey! Don't say that about Percy! I love him."

"Then why are you making out with me", he asked grinning.

"Uh, because…" I started embarrassed.

"Yes?" he said patiently.

"Well", I blushed. "I haven't seen something yet."

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Well", I said and drew closer. "The thing in your pants."

He sighed. "Come on Annabeth. You have to learn to be more explicit. What the fuck did Percy teach you! Do you know anything!"

I sobbed. I didn't like it when Luke yelled at me. He cradled my head then. "Aw, its okay dear, its not your fault."

"Bah, I wasn't really crying you idiot", I said. "Now tell me, how long?"

Luke thought for a moment. "10 inches."

"Bah, you're lying", I said unimpressed.

"Fine you're right", he sighed. "Couldn't cross 5, I'm such an idiot, after all I did for Kronos I should've at least asked for a raise (get it? Raise. Ha ha)."

"That's all right, I'll manage", I said eyeing his pants.

Just then Percy entered the room.

"Percy!", I shrieked. "Why do you always have to come at the wrong time?"

"Coz you're nice and sexy at the wrong time, Wise Girl", he said with a lustful smile.

He then turned back. "Come on in Nico, let's teach Luke who's boss."

Nico stepped in. His hair was messy and his lips were wet but his nose was bloody. It was as if he was having a make out session while someone was beating him up. Bah, I never thought he was hot anyway.

"No, you can't harm Luke", I said firmly.

Luke smiled triumphantly then turned to Percy. "See? Your chick has fallen for me and there's nothing you can…"

"Wait, let me finish you jerk", I said and smacked Luke on his chest.

I turned to Percy and Nico. "What I was saying was that you can't harm Luke until I get what I want. After I get to have whatever's in his pants you can beat the bowels out of him I don't care. But we have to make this deal first. Consider it as barter."

"No!" cried Luke. "I don't want it to be detached!"

Percy and Nico looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay."

Percy stepped forward and shook hands with me. "You're quite a businesswoman Miss Chase."

"Don't patronize me", I told him. "It won't score any points with me in bed."

His face fell. "Ok… what will score then?"

I wagged a disapproving finger. "Teachers aren't supposed to reveal the answers before the test. That would be cheating."

Nico turned to Percy with a bored expression on his face. "Hey Perce, I'm getting bored are we gonna beat up Luke or should I make out with Annabeth."

That flared my temper. "Let's beat him up Seaweed Brain!"

Percy leapt on top of Nico. "I'll teach to make out with Annabeth you turd."

Together me and Percy knocked the stuffing out of Nico. After he was whimpering on the floor I lifted him up and kissed him on the lips.

Percy blinked several times. "But…but…"

I shrugged. "I wanted to see how it feels."

Nico slumped to the floor and groaned. "At least I died after a kiss from the lady fair. My life is not lost in shambles."

Luke got up and started beating up Percy. Now's my chance. I removed Luke's belt from his pants. "Hey I'm trying to fight over here, stop stripping me", he protested.

Luke socked Percy's ears and muttered, "I'm gonna give Annabeth the time of her fucking life so get out of my way loser."

"Yeah right, yours is only 5 inches!" screamed Percy.

Luke turned red. "How do you know that?"

"Hah! Everyone knows. Hermes told us at your funeral!"

Luke looked flustered. "Why would he reveal my dick size?"

Percy looked triumphant. "Because he wanted to make sure that any girl who had a crush on you wouldn't be too sad that you died! Hahaha!"

Luke looked he was going to cry. "I can't believe this. No!"

"Shut up both of you", I interjected. "Instead of debating over can I just see it once, just once please to confirm its only 5. I mean it could be 5.1 or 5.2 or if you're really hopeless 4.7 but I really should get a look. Its only for statistical purposes nothing else I assure you." I tried to look convincing.

Luke and Percy gave me a look and started laughing. "Haha! Nice one Annabeth. You're just trying to cover up your horniness."

I turned red. "No I'm not!"

Luke and Percy laughed even more. "Hornybeth! Hornybeth", they chanted.

I put my Yankees cap on and took my club and beat the shit out of them.

"No!" said Percy. "Please Annabeth, at least beat me up without being invisible, you're really hot then."

I bashed his face with my club and he fell down unconscious.

"Hornybeth", Luke muttered trying to suppress a smile. He got it on his head too though. I took off my cap and surveyed the unconscious boys before me. Slowly I undid Luke's pants. "4.5! Hermes was being pretty generous!"


End file.
